It was the first time in a long time that I’ve been working from home, and my children had the day off school. I forgot how distracting it can be sometimes when you are in a conference or presenting an idea, and a little person has lots of questions or needs, causing you to just lose your train of thought.
On this particular day, because my autistic son’s schedule had changed, he was unsure and was looking for reassurance from me. He kept repeating over and over, ‘I’m not ready mum’, and I had to keep reassuring him that it was ok. He also had his music playing really loudly in the background, and this could be heard over Zoom, even though I was wearing headphones. I never want my son to feel that he has to hide any part of himself, especially in his house, but I felt like I had to explain why he was behaving the way he was to my colleagues. I definitely think I have better advocated for my son on other occasions; I replayed the conversion over in my head many times and wished I had explained his behaviors in the context of his needs further.
I want to be the best advocate I can be for my autistic son, and I think it is important to educate others about the challenges he and other autistic people face on a daily basis. On this occasion, I just wish I had not let the fact that I was thrown off a little affect my explanation to my colleagues.
However, I’m going to try and be kind to myself, and think that any teaching and learning is better than none.
The Pajama Gang 